Uninvited Guests
by Mishano
Summary: Kenny finds a small door, what's behind it? Extreme OOC Kenny's A.D.D Stan like's romance books, kyle and eric are barely mentioned but overall it's funny! Stan and Kenny are main characters, no yaoi!


A/N: This is completely out of characterness, I had an assignment in my Creative Writing class to write a story about a picture we were shown, (everyone except me only wrote one page =P) The picture was a basement and had a small wooden door in the wall, It's title was 'uninvited guests' and it had a quote under it, it said 'his heart was pounding, he was sure he had seen the door knob turn' I worked that in there, somewhere... Anyway because I love south park so very much I decided to use their names. Oh! And the first part, about the book that stan's reading, I had gotten the idea from another south park fanfic called fallen from grace or something like that. It isn't very creative but has a great plot so I paraphrased. Well, enjoy the story!

**Uninvited Guests**

_'Bam! Kyle fell back as the flesh connected with his face._

_Eric froze, he had hit him! "Oh my God! K-Kyle! I'm s-so sorr-""Get away from me!" He got to his feet and ran. Eric just stood there, shocked at himself._

_The only man who wanted to help him… and he had hit him with his bare hands…'_

"Who do you read those sad books?" Stan, who was reading his newest book, turned to face Kenny, who was leaning over his shoulder.

"Better yet…" Stan began "Why do you look over my shoulders?" "Uhh…" The way he put the high pitch into his voice Stan couldn't tell if he was thinking over his question of just whining.

Rising from his perch over the couch, Kenny rounded the side and snatched Stan's book from his hands.

"_'Love Lost, has the new beginning come at last?'_" Kenny read aloud the cover. "Stan, I hate to break this to you… But you're a dude! You shouldn't read romance books; better yet you shouldn't even read books!"

Giving his friend and roommate the best glare he could muster he took back his book. "What? So I like to read, big deal. You should read more often."

"Psht, as if _that's_ going to happen." Inclining his head away he saw the snow collecting on the windowsill.

"Well fine, Stan, read your boring chick and _become_ a girl for all I care, but I'm going to go play hockey." "With _who_? Everyone's gone."

"With _myself_, retard" "How can you play hockey with only one person?"

"I'll find a way." And with that, Kenny made his way to the basement and began the walk down squeaking stairs.

Just as he reached the bottom his foot caught on something oblivious to Kenny's eyes and sent him shooting forward until his head and torso connected painfully to the cement floor.

"Ow… we really need to fix the stairs; this must be the 30th time I've tripped…" Kenny mused out loud to himself.

Flipping over he jabbed his finger at the stairs and laughed, "Ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha! You still haven't killed me, so I'm still winning, na na na na na na!"

"Kenny!" Quickly stopping his song he faced the open door.

"Yeah Stan?" "The stairs aren't trying to kill you!" "Yes they are!" he whined.

"No, they're not!" "Fine, fine, they're not!" Silence echoed before Kenny glared at the wooden steps and grumbled, "This isn't over."

Getting up he found his hockey stick and searched for his skates. He searched, and searched, and then searched a bit more but only managed to find the pair of figure skates hanging above the door to the heater.

"Aw, dang it…"

He put his hockey stick away and went back upstairs to find Stan watching football.

"Decided to finally be a guy?" Kenny chimed as he entered the messy living room strewn with dirty plates and wrappers of everything under the sun.

"Shut up Kenny! I am a guy!" Kenny rolled his eyes and moved to the kitchen, which was only separated from the living room by a counter.

"Sheesh, I was just kidding, don't get so upset…"

A few moments passed before Stan turned to Kenny, who was currently face deep in chocolate pudding.

"Why aren't you out playing hockey? … And why are you eating _my_ pudding?"

"Uhh… Well your snacks are good, I'm hungry, and I couldn't find my skates, I only found those figure skates."

"Well… Why didn't you just use those?"

Kenny raised an eyebrow and gave Stan an incredulous look. "Stanly! Are you even _suggesting_ that I, the wonderful and all-powerful Kenny, use _figure skates_ to play _hockey_?!"

"Sorry, _you highness_, I didn't mean it" Stan said in sarcastic voice. Completely oblivious to the tone, Kenny replied, "That's more like it!" He threw the empty cup into the garbage.

Stan flicked off the T.V. and sighed. "Why don't I go and help you find your skates?"

And so they searched, but just as Kenny's search had ended before, it did again; they didn't find Kenny's hockey skates.

Scratching his head Stan straightened up, "Huh, I guess you were right…" Giving a defeated sigh Kenny shrugged.

_Creeeeaaaaak._ Kenny's blonde hair whipped around his head as he searched for the source of the sound.

"Kenny? What are you looking at?" He made his hazel eyes turn back to his friend. "Oh, nothing. I thought I heard something." He mumbled, scrunching his eyebrows together.

Stan looked around a final time, "Well I wonder where the skates could've gone." He rose out of the chilly floor and began walking up the stairs, and not too long after Kenny followed.

Turning in the hope his skates magically appeared Kenny only saw the knob to the small door twitching. "Hey, Stan?" "What is it?"

"I think the heater is creating a draft."

Turning to face Kenny, a few steps below him, his face showed curiosity.

"What makes you say that?"

Kenny jabbed his over his shoulder to the door. "The door knob was turning."

"Uhh… Kenny… The heater isn't behind that door…"

"What?!"

"Well, yeah, what did you think _that_ was?" He motioned towards the corner where a large metal contraption lay.

"When did _that_ get there?!" "It's _been_ there! Wow, you are completely A.D.D." "Yeah, yeah, I have the attention span of a squirrel, I _know_."

Kenny scratched his head and showed plain confusion on his face, which honestly was the expression he mostly had on his face anyway, but this seemed like a more extreme version, not just the 'I don't see why it's wrong to turn off the alarm by throwing the clock against the wall' look.

"If _that's_ the heater… then what's behind the door?"

"Behind the door is… uh… uh… is… I have absolutely no idea." His head dropped to the side like a confused animal, or Kenny, and his hand pulled at imaginary facial hair.

"Well…" Started Kenny, "We'll never know unless we open it!" He stated in a sing-song voice as he traversed the steps two at a time until he hopped onto the cold, hard, floor which nipped his bare feet.

"Slow down twitchy!" Stan yipped, taking the old wooden stairs one at a time in a much safer fashion.

Kenny tapped his foot impatiently before he went up a few steps and yanked down Stan, but unfortunately for poor Kenny, his foot caught and sent him, along with unsuspecting Stan, right into the wall.

"Ugh… Kenny?" Stan grumbled as he rose from he place kneeling against the wall.

"Yeah?"

"I hate you."

Upon gazing at the watering eyes he quickly took back his statement.

"No! I didn't mean it! Not really, Kenny! I don't hate you!"

Kenny gave a wry smile, "Thanks Stan, I don't know what I'd do without you, you're my only- ooh look, a squirrel!" "Kenny! Wai-" _Smack!_ "Ugh… Kenny…" Stan shook his head in disappointment and pinched the bridge of this nose.

"You're an idiot, Kenny."

When little A.D.D. Kenny saw the squirrel prancing around in the snow by the basement window, his instinct told him to grab it, which sent him smack-dab into the clear glass pane.

Still shaking his head, Stan turned to the door and lowered himself to his knees in front of it.

Down on his knees he realized the door couldn't have been taller then three feet, and looked almost mid-evil. If Kenny had paid attention he probably would've claimed that gnomes were living behind there.

The knob protested being turned and gave a small creak when Stan opened the door. Peering inside he called over to his retarded friend.

"Uh… Kenny? There's nothing here."

"What?!"

Finally giving up at catching the squirrel through glass, Kenny bolted over and came face to face with what lie behind the door… nothing.

It was just a wall. Same color and texture of the other walls, probably dry wall or cement.

Stan plopped down and folded his legs. "Well that's weird; I wonder why this is here."

Shrugging it off, Stan returned upstairs and his presence was soon exchanged with the sounds of screaming fans and whistles.

Kenny just sat there, scratching his head. Nothing _looked_ wrong but something just felt _off_, strange, unusual, out of the ordinary, but he just couldn't put his finger on it.

Hearing the small exploding sounds that popcorn made he closed the door that led no where and was about to head up when he realized what had been the cause of the uneasy feeling he had gotten.

The air around him was dead; it didn't stir the lightest dust or move a single strand of his hair.

His heart was pounding, he was sure he had seen the door knob turn.

He felt his breathing speed up as his heart danced a tango in his chest and his muscles twitched like after Stan forgot to hide the coffee.

He had backed halfway up the stairs when his neck twitched, moving his head and letting him catch sight of the figure skates that hung on the wall.

Scrunching his eyebrows together he saw only one skate, even thought earlier he had seen both.

He was musing why only one was there when he heard a noise, similar to the squeak of a mouse.

Looking, his heart jumped out of his ribs as he saw the door opening.

"S-Stan… Stan! Stan!" He yelled and ran as fast as his legs would let him out of there.

"What is it now- OW!" Stan couldn't hide the shock from his face as Kenny full-out tackled him to the ground behind the couch.

"Th-th-there's s-something down th-there!"

Stan rolled his eyes. "Kenny… There's _nothing_ down there! I just checked with you no more then five minutes ago! Have you gotten into the coffee again?"

"I'm serious, Stan! There's something there! And only a little, but that doesn't matter!"

Stan just sighed "Do you want me to check it again for you?" "Yes please."

Stan gave a sly smirk, "So… whose being a girl now?" Kenny didn't smile. "Not funny dude… just… not funny…"

Stan laughed, "Oh how the tables have turned."

Once again shutting off the Television, Stan stuffed his hands in his pockets and had just reached the top of the stairs when a bang sounded throughout the basement and Stan saw the small door slam shut.

"Oh my God!" He yelled, and in reflex his knees went out from underneath him, causing him to fall back.

"I told you! I told you! Something's there, I know- hey, where did those skates go?"

Stan slapped his hand to his face. "Dear God Kenny, can you like, _not_ be A.D.D. for just a _second_?!"

"Sorry, I can't help it!"

"Well let's see what's behind the door, shall we?" Stan suggested as he bounded down the stairs.

"Hey, wait for me!" "Hurry up!" Stan yelled back at Kenny. "Oh how the tables _have_ turned" He whispered to himself.

Mimicking Kenny he began loudly tapping his foot impatiently. In an attempt to annoy Kenny took hold of Kenny's wrist and yanked him down, but tripped and fell instead.

"Okay, maybe the stairs are trying to kill us…"

"Told you Stan!" Kenny chimed with two of his fingers held up in a sign of victory.

Rising, they moved toward the door, dropped to their knees, and could only hear their frantic hearts and their hurried breaths.

Kenny slowly wrapped his thin, pale, hand around the iron knob and began to twist it to the right, pulling the door open once the knob reached its limit.

Once it's contents were exposed they both froze, then gave and angry grunt.

They were once again starring at a slab of wall.

"Well…" Stan said, "Maybe there really is _nothing_ here…"

"No… No! No there _is_ something here!" "No, Kenny, there isn't."

"Aw, come on!"

Angered by not getting a satisfying answer, Kenny threw his fist forward and prepared himself for the impact but instead only felt his face hit ground.

"Kenny! Kenny! Are you alright?! Kenny?! Kenny!"

Lifting his head, Kenny found himself in a dirt tunnel. Looking back, he couldn't find his legs; they were cut off by a wall.

"Oh my God I can't find my legs!" Kenny began panicking and felt hyperventilation start before he felt a sharp pinch behind his right knee.

Stan's voice rang out, "I found them!" "Ow, yeah I think I did too…"

Flipping over he brought his knees up to his chest and rubbed the sore spot.

"Hey! Your legs disappeared!"

Finally realizing what he had done Kenny spoke out, "Hey, try coming through!"

Keeping his eyes on the 'wall' he saw a hand form through the grey slab, it twitched a bit then extended to show the tan arm of his friend.

Emerging through what seemed to be just an illusion, Stan met up with his blonde haired friend, who for once in his life was waiting _calmly_.

Giving each other a silent nod they began crawling down the dirt toward the unknown.

After what seemed like hours of just crawling they reached an opening. Finally entering the room they stretched out their cramped muscles before observing their surroundings.

"What is this place?" Stan whispered, but in the quiet cave, the whisper had built to match a yell.

"Oh, that's cool!" Kenny exclaimed. "Echo!" He yelled and was met with his own voice sounding back to him hundreds of times.

"Kenny! Shut up! You don't know what's in here…" Stan franticly whispered.

"Must you always ruin my fun?"

"Idiot"

Looking around they noticed they were in a large cave, the ceiling was so high up it was black and there were candles hanging from the walls, giving the place an eerie orange glow, just like the inside of a jack-o-lantern.

"Hey! You two! What're you doing here?"

Turning on heel, Kenny and Stan face two figures in robes, one a black robe and the other white.

Kenny spoke first, "Who are you people?"

The spoke in unison and the chord their voices made sent a chill down both Stan and Kenny's spine.

"We are the ones of the underground, of the subculture, and of the darkness. Also, we are the ones who took your skates."

"I knew it!"

"Silence!"

Kenny shut his mouth at that, but was quick to open it again.

"Why did you want the skates?"

The hooded figures turned to each other then faced the guys again.

"We wanted to skate, and our tunnel led to yours house; add 2 and 2 together."

"4!"

Everyone looked at Kenny.

"Idiot" They all stated together.

"Yeah, yeah, I get it! Anyway, can you take those robes off? I want to see you two… Plus… they're sort of creeping me out…"

They both shrugged and dropped their robes, taking a surprised gasp from the boys.

They were the _true_ mean of yin and yang.

Under the black robe stood a light blonde haired lady clad in white Lolita clothing, on her left, the one who had had the white robe, stood a raven haired maiden in equal but opposite black Lolita clothes.

After what seemed like forever Kenny broke the silence that had hung over them. "Ooh… pretty ladies!"

"Kenny! Now's not the time!"

"But they look good!"

The one now in white gave a devilish smirk and the one in black put on a sweet smile.

The longer he stared the more they seemed to contrast. Upon closer inspection he saw the lady with the innocent visage had light blue eyes and the evil one had bright red ones.

Blue eyes and a sweet smile turned to him, "Not what you expect of someone who constantly tries to trip you, huh?"

"What?!" Kenny shouted. "_You_ are the ones who try to trip me all the time?!"

The smirk of the evil one grew until her lips parted, showing canines, sharp as a cobra's fangs.

"Not only _try_, but _succeed_." She spoke so low it was almost a growl.

The difference of voice only added to their yin and yang style, one low, one high, that was what had sounded their chord.

"You two are _evil_!"

They extended their hands to him, "Come here" They rand out together.

He sluggishly walked towards them.

"Come here fast, Kenny!" He shortened his step and quickened his pace, stopping a few feet away from them.

Moving in a flash they grabbed his shoulders, closing the distance between them and digging their nails into his upper arms as they did so.

"Ow! Owowowowowow! Let go of me!" He pleaded.

"Kenny! Kenny!" Stan's worried voice called out to him from what seemed like far away.

"Kenny! Kenny!" The girls mimicked Stan and dug their fingers deeper, making him wince.

"Kenny! Kenny!" They chanted.

"Kenny, wake up Kenny!" "What?" He questioned. "Wake up, Kenny! Wake up!"

They pushed their fingers harder, actually forcing the ends of their fingers in up to the first knuckle.

"Kenny, wake up Kenny!" They continued.

He could feel his blood running down his arms as they only pushed harder, their skin felt like fire inside his arms, it felt like they were burning him, but he couldn't move.

He couldn't fight back and he couldn't run. He just had to stand there with his face twisted in pain and their cold voices filling his ears.

"Kenny, wake up!" They kept saying it, over and over again.

Finally he felt a sharp slap across his face and everything stopped.

It was quiet, save for the thumping sound of his heart… and someone else's?

His vision went shaky and he grasped the fact he was being shaken. Turning, he saw Stan, and his hearing returned to his ears. It was Stan calling him, not creepy ladies in a cave.

He was covered in ice water, not blood, and his head hurt, it throbbed and felt like his one brain cell was trying to get revenge for all the time he spent playing video games.

"Ugh… Stan, what happened?"

Stan's worried face dropped and a smile broke out.

"You wanted to go skating and you tripped on those God-forsaken stairs again!" He emphasized the point with a quick jab of his hand in the steps' direction.

"I didn't think anything of it, you trip all the time, but I heard you yelling so I came down. You were shaking really badly; I thought you were having a seizure or something! I tried to wake you up; I shook you, yelled, and poured water on you, but it seems like the slap was what did it."

Kenny raised his hand and traced the side of his face where a large red mark now decorated it.

"That hurt. That really, _really_, hurt."

Stan gave a relieved laugh, "Hey, but it worked, didn't it?" Kenny smiled up at him, "I guess it did!"

He looked around; everything was there, the skates and the heater in the corner. Glancing at the wall he saw the door was not there, it never was.

"Come on Ken', I made you some popcorn." After helping his friend up Stan ran up the stairs to the kitchen.

Kenny began his ascend when he fell, cutting the sides of his arms on a piece of splintered wood. Pulling chips of wood out of his flesh he saw that the wood had cut him in the same shape that fingers would.

His eyes grew wide, his nightmare was coming true.

There, wide open, was the door; it had appeared out of nowhere. The inside was pitch black, the only thing he could see was a pair of light blue eyes, and a pair of red ones lighting up like fire.

Kenny couldn't breathe, they were real, they were back, and they were staring at him with a sadistic look in their eyes.

"Oh my God, stay away from m- ooh look, a squirrel!"

_Smack!_

Their voices rang out together.

"Idiot."

**The End**


End file.
